I have a problem!

Daz me right durr. [source]

A good problem. A problem I can't solve yet but I'm happy to think about. 

I told my husband that I really want to take Bebeng's Kitchen seriously, not that I'm just playing since I started it on July. As in, I was dreaming of its expansion for weeks already. You see, I can't bake a lot, can't try other breads and cakes aside from the regulars I made because I only own a few kitchen tools. 

1) My table top oven's still in the appliance hospital so I borrowed my mom's. It's rusty and old. Surprisingly, it delivers but in a slightly different way. The muffins were a little denser and brownies were softer. It's okay but not the best. Ask those who know me well, I always want the best in everything I do. I then asked my fellow baking mommas on FB on what oven I should get — electric or gas, Elba or La Germania. Gas and La Germania won for the best practical reasons. So I'll be hugging my own La Germania real soon! I can't wait to share with y'all how my new kitchen buddy would look like. One thing's for sure, he's kinda big. He's German. Teehee.

2) I don't have a mixer. I do all the stirring, mixing, whisking manually. Hello, macho arms! Not. I super get tired just to get the right consistency of whatever I have to mix. Sometimes, I don't quite get it. So to further inspire me to become the next big thing in the food commerce (claiming it makes it true I believe), I am buying myself a KitchenAid Artisan stand mixer. Did I hear you mumble a "woot"? Or was it a "yay"? Hahaha! Isn't this a big deal in any domestic queen's life? This is the Rolls Royce of all mixers, right? Before anything else, I'd like to let you know that I'm getting the most affordable model, not that one that costs twice as much as my daughter's tuition. I'm still sane and sober. And financially-challenged. 

But like what the title suggests, I have a problem.

The Daughter of a Soldier

Sophia was around three years and something months old when I finally felt that she knew what her father does, why he's away most of the time and why a lot of men call him "sir". 

It was December of 2009 when she first rode the plane and traveled with me and her nanny to the South to spend the holidays with her soldier dad. Unlike today when nails can already be a subject of a beautiful photograph, this momma-in-the-moment forgot to have a photo of her in front of or inside the plane for posterity. Oh well. 

The journey with my then chubby 15-month-old baby girl was a breeze. She slept the whole time, giggled to everyone who said "hi", and when we arrived, her father lovingly held his unica hija. Was the feeling mutual? Did she reciprocate the affection given? She did nothing and said nothing (of course). Ha! Our tiny trooper just smiled showing her 8 (or was it 12?) milk teeth and remained her cute bubbly self the entire vacation. We did not complain. For us, it was more than enough.

Earlier was totally a different scenario, though. 

36/52

"My daughter's photos, once a week, every week, in 2014."

This was two days before my birthday. And just like some of the people I know who feel the same when their birthday's near, I kinda felt sick. So most of the time, I was in bed then the couch... or couch then the bed. Surprisingly and fortunately, Pia was utterly well-behaved! She just had these little cute kicks that were inevitable for her age; like waking me up when I dozed off while watching her cartoons with her or telling me that she's hungry. She's hungry like every 5 minutes, this kid! But most of those times, she was a cool kid. She is, actually, even if I don't feel sick. She just gets easily bored so she gets mad when she's not doing anything fun or creative. There went my make-up brush and pink blush-on as the sacrificial lambs to cure her boredom. 

**

The rest of the photos from this project... HERE! xx

Foodpanda Delivery saved the day!

Unabashedly, I want to let you know that I'm one of those moms, who can make you feel inferior about your domestic skills. I brag about and am proud of that on my Instagram's #bebengcooks posts so yes, you can roll your eyes as long as you like. Heehee. Anyway, I may not know all the bourgeois cuisines as I am a big fan of Filipino foods but yes, I incredibly know my way in the kitchen. However, there are lazy days. Many lazy days, to be honest. 

When that inevitable feeling happens to this self-proclaimed domestic queen, I don't fight with it. I'm too lazy to even argue with my conscience. Sometimes, I pop out some meat loaf from a can, dice it, saute it with tomato sauce and mix it with cooked pasta. If I have extra budget, I dial-a-friend. My bff's name is Ronald, the one with the big red shoes. I love the nearest branch's fast service and the flat rate delivery charge! We love Ronald and his world. In fact, my daughter loves him than the bee. OK, not the actual mascot, though ('cause R's kinda scary haha). BUT. One day I decided to dial another friend. 

Two Women

Oh why, hello there.

To you who comes here often to check if I have a new entry, big hug! Thank you for not getting tired of me, for sticking around despite my sweet shortcomings. Do you know how many times I have been on hiatus? I've lost count, really. I sometimes wonder if there's a cure to this — this some kind of a disease that enveloped me these past few weeks. No, I'm not sick or anything. I just got really, really lazy to even go to my Blogger dashboard and check the pending comments. I actually wanted to quit.

Say what?!

MARTINE. It is true when my blog and writing mentor, Martine, said that our blogs must be connected to how we live our lives. OK. A little honesty here — I've gone through a crisis. Let's say, life slapped me with a harsh reality. So instead of just sulking in sorrow, I tried to solve the problem. The solution had something to do with a start of a new beginning and that new beginning includes an end. Did you get it? You see the connection between that and this? Whatever it is that you're thinking of right now, let it be. What's important is, I'm back. I.am.so.freakin'.back.

How will I not be inspired to go back to my cyber kingdom and bleed words again? See ladies, Martine gave me a Ree Drummond book! *virtual chest pop a la Maja Salvador lol* Wow, just wow. I felt like I'm on chocolate dextrose when I opened the package last Thursday. The Pioneer Woman is one of my favorite kitchen goddesses since I started my blogging journey two years ago, and to have her book is like cooking her food in Oklahoma, without smelling the manure-infested air.

I'm still here!

source

That's me. A lazy, beautiful cat.

To those who asked where I was and why my blog and its annexes (FB, Twitter and IG) are too quiet... here's why — I am sleeping a lot lately! LOL. Really, I feel so tired all the time. Whenever I feel like I want to share something here or on Facebook, I just get really lazy doing so. As for my Instagram, I just don't have something worthy to share there, as of this moment. I want my posts to be more on the artsy fartsy side or at least have a story to tell (because not all of my photos have great composition and lighting); and not something forced (yung basta may mai-share lang na photo, hindi man lang lagyan ng arte, gets mo yun?). So that's why.

And most of all, I am living my life so I have something to blog about.

35/52

"My daughter's photos, once a week, every week, in 2014."

On this year's 35th week, I managed to 'gently prod' (if there is such) these girls for a photo op. Pia's with her bestfriend here. S is her favorite classmate since this pretty petite transferred last year. They hit it off easily because they both converse in English. Like any relationships, their friendship isn't perfect. TS (their teacher) once told me that these two often argue over the simplest things. You see, my unica hija is a sweet but very possessive friend. It irks her to see other kids playing with her bestfriend. She must have gotten it from me. LOL. 

However, when TS talked to me during this school year's first Parent-Teacher Conference, he told me that Pia's now reaching out to other girls. I was so happy to know about it! Actually, I also like the two other girls she's getting close to lately, M and A. But if you will ask her who her bestfriend is, without batting a single eyelash, she will nonchalantly tell you that it's S. 

How 'bout you, do you know who your child's bestfriend is?