How We Make Our Marriage Happy

At 23, I was every inch of what I wanted myself to be — a fun and free college graduate who was working in the biggest broadcasting network in the country. Also, I had a cute military boyfriend who loved me back as much I loved him. I wasn't rich but I had everything I needed to be happy. For me then, my life was perfect. Things have changed dramatically, though when I got pregnant out of wedlock. Sadly, the boyfriend (who became no longer cute for me lol) and I had opposing views about the situation; it was expected that we didn't get married. Worse, I didn't have a job for the whole 9 months of carrying my little human. Just imagine how miserable I felt every time I craved a burger and I don't even have money to buy the cheapest kind.

While my mother took me under her care, I knew I had to do something for me and my baby. So during my first trimester, armed with resourcefulness and guidance from the Lord, I sold my huge magazine collection to a magazine store near our house. My collection of mostly Summit Media magazines was really that huge that I was able to buy myself fruits, maternity house dress and vitamin supplements. And just before my first trimester ended, my boyfriend (who became cute again lol) and I reconciled and decided to become partners in building our dream team. We knew we would never have our fun and free youth back but having a baby gave our lives so much meaning.

Our Relationship Secrets: Revealed!

My husband and I were highschool classmates. No - we were never sweethearts. We didn't dance in our prom night, he didn't carry my heavy bag and books, he didn't look my way. Worst, we didn't even talk! There was one incident that I wanted to initiate a conversation, though. It was my chance, I had a slight crush on him when I was 14 eh. We were in the same jeepney on the way to school. Gahd, imagine my kilig when I saw him na sumabit bigla. You know, I wanted to hold his book for him kasi nga nakasabit siya then eventually when he's finally seated, we would talk and ililibre niya ako ng pamasahe but well, nag-123 pala siya that day so sorry, no cute puppy love story to tell, hahaha! But if you seriously want to know how we got to be where we are now, here's our funny, worthy of an MMK episode love story entitled - When Rhambo Met Bebeng.

Hello, this is us. Photo taken by our little girl, our #1 fan.

I love going back to how we began. In fact, I shared that with his mom and our daughter Sophia. Our girl was laughing the whole time I was telling our story. She loves it and gets kilig kasi when her father and I are being sweet to each other. Sinusulit ko na rin hanggat hindi pa siya grossed-out sa amin, hihi. Telling her how I met her father is important for us since we really pray that she will also have a happy marriage and family in the future. And in case she'll ask for tips and advice, we got these SECRETS TO A LONG-LASTING RELATIONSHIP that I will be sharing with you, too.

R and I

As what Toni of Wifely Steps advised me, I am reposting this lengthy caption here that I first posted on Instagram, my personal Facebook account and page of this blog. Here it goes.

"Medyo mahaba ito but I have a confession kasi. We don't like each other that much the past months or maybe years, R and I. Yes, we love each other. Yes, we are very married and I think we are our girl's "relationship goal". But you know, there are times na gusto lang namin pikunin ang isa't-isa. Minsan sadya, minsan hindi. Hehe. It's given in any marriage, in any relationship - ang mapikon sa partner. There were times (many times, I tell ya) na ayoko na, na ayaw na rin niya... eh kasi nakakapagod na nga. Pero eto pa rin kami oh! Kasi nga, wala, we can't live without each other! 

Rayala Dialogues: Epic Gas Release

The election fever has made a lot of netizens pour out their emotions and brain cells in their Facebook walls. There were some who just unfriended their friends because they have different choices. My friends and I do, too. My college bestfriend, for one, is a staunch supporter of Mayor Duterte. But we don't fight (yet, hehe) because we respect each other and we value our friendship more than our political opinions. We respect each other by not talking about it, by not making patol to each other's posts. However, I have to be honest - I have unfriended a few people whose posts are just unbelievably stupid. I don't have personal connections with them so I don't regret it. 

When we arrived here at R's workplace last Sunday, I kind of felt that I needed to take a break from sharing news articles and my opinions about the election online. I have to focus on what truly gives me joy - time with my family and eating together (hello, fatso). There are times when I still comment on others' politics oriented posts, though. Hard habit to break, I know. 

After R's office work, we made chismis about all the crazy stuff we saw online. That's our usual language of affection - social media sharing, lol. And so the inevitable happens. We caught one inside joke that we keep on saying whenever we feel like it fits the bill. Say, I just made an epic gas release (no thanks to eating too much) and this is what happened ---

Please Remind Me To / 02

I have a blind item. I don't like this certain local showbiz love team. For me, lately, they exude so much negativity and haggardness. Keep them in mind because they played a vital role in this story. Also, please guard your hearts if you are a fan girl of any celebrity like I am.

Be still, my heart.

My husband came home last night to spend a weekend with us. We are one of the few privileged military families who can get to have our soldier home even for just a weekend. Never fails, whenever R comes home, our girl becomes the theatrical Annie Bennett. She has this signature giddiness. There's a squeal, a giggle and a few gallops like her favorite ponies. Then she'll automatically throw herself to the man who looks like her. Her happiness is contagious, always. Dinner last night went smoothly and very motion picture-like: The father comes home, hot and sexy mother prepares meal, kid is happy. Then we finished our delicious Arroz ala Cubana like famished laborers. 

Lost Landbank ATM Card

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I am currently at the height of my emotion as I am writing this. It's not advisable, according to the tenured bloggers. It usually wreaks havoc, that's what I know. But I feel like my chest will explode if I won't write this down here. Worry not 'cause you'll learn a thing or two from this kwento.

To get to the core immediately -- I lost my husband's ATM card -- on a holiday when there is no bank. Good job to me. Not. I was about to withdraw money so I can ask my kitchen assistant to buy supplies in the market for the shop's orders when I knew it was not in my wallet. Of the many cards that I have there, it was that card that I have lost! Tsk, tsk. Remembering the last time I used it, perhaps I unintentionally forgot it in the machine. Or have I dropped it elsewhere? I'm still in denial that I forgot to get it in the machine 'cause I remembered putting it inside my wallet! Oh well. Good thing I still have some cash with me.

I called Landbank's hotline (02-4057000) right after I turned our house upside down and asked the customer service to block the card for security purposes. I also asked how to have it replaced since it was opened in a branch in Mindanao where R was first deployed. The lady I talked to said since my husband is a soldier, he can personally have his lost card (no thanks to his great wife) replaced in the Landbank branch nearest him and submit a notarized Affidavit of Loss plus two valid IDs. 

There you have it, folks. 

So if you're like me who keeps the ATM card of your military husband, you already know what to do in case you got a stupid day and lost it. 

My salary from my social media management job goes there as well. This means I really, really need to open my own bank account asap. What bank can you recommend and what are the requirements (like initial amount and maintaining balance)? I will truly appreciate your help.

Update:
R just told me that a senior officer had the same scenario and since card replacement had taken too long already (one incredible month, guys), he just applied for a new bank account. As simple as that.

It's Been 10 Days

I'm sure you noticed the long gap in between my posts lately. I have no excuse for that and I want to be honest with you, it was all intentional. I love my little virtual space here and really, it's like there's a missing piece in my daily existence when I don't do anything blog-related but I've been obsessed with my life outside my digital world since this year started. Yup, sharing bits and snippets of how I see my everyday is entertaining (for me and my followers, at least) but there's this wisp of satisfaction for the moments I kept to myself. Privately savoring the inside jokes, dreams, and conversations with the people close to me while being a blogger slash social-media-fanatic-who's-expected-to-post-on-a-regular-basis gives me that extraordinary feeling. 

BUT. Trust me when I say that I'll be sharing stories... eventually, gradually. I love storytelling! It can be as lengthy as a term paper or as short as photo captions (of course, with photos) or simply videos from my YouTube channel. In whatever way, I will do my best to entertain, inform or inspire you. Some of my topics may sound like I'm gossiping (or marketing when it's a sponsored post, hehe), perhaps because of the issues and events involved, but like any other blogger that I religiously read, that's how I am. 

Alright, since it's been 10 days, you just might want to catch up on my whatevers on Instagram and Facebook. Those are basically like teasers of what I'll be writing about. Forgive me, though if I won't or forget to post about some certain topics. I do great scheduling now that I have a corkboard in my blogging nook but you know, I still prioritize this self-proclaimed domestic queen's priorities. 

Just like that, after three paragraphs, I'm already saying goodbye. Let's see, hopefully, I'll be back again tomorrow for another post. For now, you may see my royal domesticity on Instagram: @deniserayala. Latest is a crazy soldier in a video! I love that guy. Ttyl, royalties. xx

A Super Relaxing Pampering Day at Banahaw Heals Spa Marikina

We rarely go out on dates, my husband and I. It's usually sad for other married couples but it's an inevitable fact that we have learned to accept. If you are new here, it's because I'm married to a military officer, who was called for duty out of town and is currently assigned somewhere 7 hours travel-by-land away from us. So whenever he's home (and that is, luckily, one to two days per month), we make sure we're physically ready. Yes, we need strength to do a lot of catching up! *wink, wink* However, there are times that I've been drowned with house chores that upon his arrival, I can't even lift a finger. How more my hips! LOL. 

Seriously, it is when we have spa dates that we feel we're one. You see, we find more love, more bliss when we're silently enjoying being pampered. We always get the room designated for couples but we actually do not even utter a word once the session starts. We just do a lot of after-activity review (AAR in the military); something like a blogger like me does after a service. No, we're not hard to please. We just want to get what we primarily looked for in a spa ― a relaxing massage. 

I'm very happy I found out about Banahaw Heals Spa!

Finally, a movie date after three years!

OK. Forgive me for some virtual flirting today, but I have a confession to make. I'm in-love with another man, another soldier, another captain! Oh yes, of course, the photo says it all. It's Steve Rogers aka Captain America! Gosh Chris Evans, you don't know what my husband and I went through to watch your movie. Really.

My Home Away from Home

When DogVacay asked me to write a post about a topic, which is this post's title, I automatically thought of my husband and the military camp where he is assigned. As an Army wife, I am fortunate to have him home on a monthly basis. Other families only get to see their soldier dads once or twice a year. When we were not married yet, I have learned to accept that fact that being with me is just his second priority. However, now that we have a child to raise and we know she needs us to be present in her life, I often see my husband's house slippers worn. I know it's cliché to say but really, "home is where my husband is". So our home away from home isn't the camp but the car! Since I don't drive, you know he's home when the car's here. And the best parts? Sunset + music + him driving = bliss. ♡

How about you, what's your home away from home?

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Of Soldiers and Mistresses

In our crazy beautiful community in the military, one of the most discreetly discussed issues (perhaps even among the civilians), is the old pathetic adage that soldiers are womanizers.

So when I first told people around me that I'm dating a soldier, I saw a glimmer of doubt in their eyes. I never disagreed with them. I just always said something like "whatever profession a guy has, he can be a womanizer if he chooses to". That being said, I was still very insecure of my long distance relationship with then Lt R. He was a soldier in the South and I was a TV network owl from the metro. I sleep just a few hours before their reveille. We just squeezed in virtual cuddling in between my working hours. It was a real test of patience, faithfulness and trust. To tell you honestly, I was a freaking paranoid girlfriend! I got jealous with everyone he was with ― damn, even his Labrador, Xander. LOL. I know you feel me, ladies. As much as we want to give our 101% trust to them, there will always be inevitable situations we don't want to be in; especially if there are poisonous women coiling around the arms of our uniformed men. 

Ranger Cabunzky, According to Rhambo

I think most of you know that I'm a proud Army wife. Oh well, look to the right and just below my gray selfie photo is a little description about moi. Though I rarely talk about my husband here and how we live the distance-challenged marriage, I honestly feel that you already know who he is, what he likes and how he is as a husband. When I think about it, it kinda irks me that I am sharing too much of him with all of you; as in, like, you can be his wife already. Hahaha!

Seriously, it's okay. La jowabelle is really a cool "diesel" dude: Snob at first, fun eventually. However, his job as a military officer makes him stern and strict ― something like a "call of duty", you know. Don't get me wrong: He's not like that ALL the time. Believe me, I heard him talk to his men and heard them laughing about what he said. That is why I shamelessly asked one of my "military idols" (though I don't have a lot hihi) to greet my OAO (one and only) on his Facebook fan page.  It was also my way of showing to non-military families that military guys are the coolest. You, as a military royalty, are living under a rock if you don't know who we, my husband and I, will be talking about. 

That Big Kilig Feeling: Plants Edition

My husband isn't a big romantic guy with big romantic gestures. OK, wait. He did ask some of his then-cadet friends to paint my name on a white blanket and hang it for everyone to see that a certain Denise is loved by somebody from the academy. He also left a big, big stuffed toy in my apartment in 2007 as his Valentine's gift. Remember, Bobbie? I like that he bought a mouse to remind me of his big ears. Haha! He organized our civil wedding in 2010. As in, I just bought our clothes and went to the Mayor's office to marry him and be Mrs. Rayala. That day made me feel like a real queen, despite the simplicity of everything. Also, he bought me a pink Samsung point-and-shoot camera for my birthday two years ago. He bought that when we were having a fight. Imagine that! 

*flips hair*

King & Queen: Year 3

His Caption: Throwback. I love you Denise Redrico Rayala! Happy anniversary beb! 

It's our 3rd wedding anniversary today, Cpt R and I. Sadly, he was not home. Yesterday, I was sick. No, I was sick since Saturday. My joints were aching, I felt terrible I easily cried. I might be PMS-ing. Whatever, we celebrated today our way. And what better way to do so but by posting photos on our social media accounts. I woke up really early than usual waiting for whatever paandar or pasabog he might have for me. Waley. 

Queen B: Tulog ka pa?
King R: May pinost ako sa FB. Hihi.

So that's what he posted! That's it? LOL. Okay, I appreciated it. Infer naman to my solja boy, it was something more than what he usually does. 'Cause he uses Facebook every day but he doesn't regularly post mundane what-nots. However, every time we have this "posting spree", I'm a bit competitive. Har har. So this is what I posted on my Instagram.

My caption: Mapa-sexy, drama, action o rom-com man; hindi maikakailang bagay tayo. Ahihi. #rhambeng

1) Sexy -- Sundutin Mo ang Booger Ko 

2) Drama -- Mahal Kita, Amoy Araw Ka Man 

3) Action -- Sumuko Ka Na, Kumander B 

4) Romantic-Comedy -- Love is Blind

Yup, our relationship, our marriage had experienced different scenarios like that of movie genres. I'm sure you and your husband had at some point, too. There are more actually, like heavy drama and X-rated (hihi), but these are what we call as box-office hits and are for general patronage. ;)

Since today is a very special day, I cooked Pork Pochero for dinner only because I have chorizo. I knooow, that's something else! LB and I went to the nearby market after school and bought pork, pechay, potato, saba and some wet market stuff. I made this extra special as I call this Pork Pochero with Love. Yes, that's a heart-shaped pechay. Sigh. My little kumare and I enjoyed our dinner, which I think would be more special had we spent it with our king. Anyway, he'll be home soon as he promised he'll watch LB's Christmas presentation next week. Yay! And then we'll spend the first part of the holidays at his post. You'll get updates on my IG (@bebengisms), so follow me! ♥♡♥

How about you, royalty? 

Have you celebrated your wedding anniversary without your husband?

How was it like? Share it with us in the comments! 

The Captain Has Been Promoted to Domestic King

Few weeks earlier, I had the light that Sophia accidentally blew up in the bathroom upstairs repaired by a neighbor, who used to work as an electrician. Originally, I wanted to wait for my husband to come home and tell ask him to do the much-needed repair. I thought that it might not happen anyway. Ugh *rolls eyes*. He is not a handy daddy, unfortunately. It's a very sad fact for a damsel who's always in distress, like me. Well, to be fair, he painted our old home in 2009. Bad news though: he has problems with colors. Our house looked so Avril Lavigne kind of purple. So emo, so rockstar. It was supposed to be a little of lilac-ish but he was the one who bought the customized paint, as I was taking care of an infant then. So there. I just made do with what we already had - paired it with black, glass and stainless stuff to give the old apartment a modern vibe. 

That's one skill that any woman married to a man working away from home must acquire: Learning the art of make-shift.

I remember when we rented a shoebox of a house in Pasig and that I needed to put up curtains and that he was not around. I was silently cursing him in every pound of the hammer in my finger the nail. LOL.

My husband is the only boy and youngest in the brood of four. According to MIL, my late FIL never wanted him to touch any womanly domestic duties at home. He was designated as their errand boy. In fact, when the rebellious teenager R disappointed his folks, as a punishment, he was tasked to do the laundry. Well, FIL should have taught him to do more "dirty" work! Hehe. Seriously, I can't question him for not doing what most by-the-book dads do. His being a military officer doesn't really require him to do such things. So yes, I understand him.

 I'm a kikay handy mommy.

But hey! I love him to bits despite that and I will not end this post with wifely complaints. The previous paragraphs were just the prologue to what I wanted to tell you. I am actually a very lucky wife. My king came home for 4 days and though I was physically, emotionally and sexually (of course) prepared, the house wasn't. A pile of freshly-laundered clothes welcomed him at the couch. Dirty plates and glasses were smiling at him when he entered our kitchen.

Guess what?

I woke up one morning with folded clothes. Though not neatly done, it was still frikkin' folded!!! Wait, there's more. I turned on the light in my cute kitchen and saw newly-washed almost dripping plates! Hallelujah!!! He was lying at the couch like a boss in front of the TV when I saw all of those. I felt as if he was a lifeguard in Baywatch, looking so gorgeous and all. LOL. I gently hugged him, smelled him like a lola and showered him with kisses. Woohoo! My captain, oh captain is now a domestic king. Insert flowers, hearts, birds sweetly chirping, angels singing bonggelz-ly and sexbomb dancers doing some Jean Claude Van Damme epic splits here.

And so when we passed by Sesou's kiosk in Trinoma, I bought a bottle of Droplets of Nature dishwashing liquid. It's his current favorite sink buddy! My R, a stern and strict military officer, is a homebody domestic king. He really kept his promise that he told me 5 years  ago ― he will be a blessing. Oh yes, he is! Naks.

What about your husband, my fellow dear queen? Can he make Martha Stewart look lazy?

Rayala Dialogues: Weather Forecast

Just a quick post while waiting for my best girl C and her sister to arrive. C will be at the US the end of this month to work as a badass physiotherapist in Florida. So well, as my sole HS realest real friend, we have a little despedida slash birthday (mine and LB) salu-salo here at home over Bebeng's Bonggang Bicol Express and fried eggplant, as C requested. She said she'll bring some desserts. I have a basket full of fruits though, in case my fit and fab sistah won't eat what she brought. ;)

My first ever Queenstagram, April 2013

Rayala Dialogues: The Girl's Hair

As a wife to a husband who's not always at home, one of my biggest obligations is to update the father of my child on what our daughter's up to lately. It's not a tough job at all. I'm a blogger and a social media fan so I just do the update through FB, IG or here. So earlier, I did a "general sweeping" all over the house; as in every nook and cranny. If you're following me on Instagram (which I encourage you to do if you haven't yet #shamelessplugging), you already know what LB just did. This ---

Grrr-worthy, right? I inspected her hair when I found the bunch under the couch. Good thing the crime was not obvious at all. It did get mixed reactions from my friends on FB, but what stood out was from my solja boy via text. 

Anong bang head?! Stand in the corner!!!

Hahaha! So weird that when I found the poor strands of hair, his common sense got lost somewhere. Can't wait to be with him again, I'm pretty sure there'll be more #kamotulo moments like this. ♥ 

How 'bout your husband, mare? May ganito din ba kayong eksena? ;)

Three Girlfriends and a New Kind of Hope

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I am a walking contradiction. I am brave but a wimp. I am strong but a crybaby. I am funny but always searching for happiness. Tunog Bipolar na ba? Hehe. I know myself well, that I actually have the power to manipulate my own feelings whenever I want to. I think all of us could do that as well --- the manipulation of our own emotions. Do you agree? You see, I was not at my best self lately. I cried over the littlest of things. I started to have that moment, I think a week ago and I "over-shared" it with my husband. Rhambo, not used to having a Judy Ann Santos of a wife (read: teleserye queen) ignored it. Ugh. It was the lowest of low, muthers. As in. It's hard when that one person actually caused you to be more emotional when all this time you thought he would be the saviour of your emotions. I extended my drama scenes over at Instagram. Mega-post ng quotable quotes na swak sa nararamdaman ko at that moment. Ang sarap eh, masokista lang ang peg. Hahaha! But when I realized it didn't help me lessen the burden, I spilled all the beans to my best girlfriends: E, my 1st AML from the North; C, the fitness trainor from hell; and S, the spelunker video editor from SG. Yes, we had brunch a la SATC, only virtually. Oh, you just didn't how I felt so much better after that! But the husband was still dedmadela to the max that I can't afford to smile yet.

Rest, Not Quit

I said I won't quit; this time, I'm falling into my own trap of emotional mud puddle. Sigh. I closed my door to happiness yesterday. My daughter, ever the inquisitive, asked me why I was not smiling. I told her I'm tired because of housework: finished laundry, cleaned bathrooms and organized closets. You know what her innocent heart told me? "Don't do it, Nanay. You rest in the couch." I almost wanted to bawl out like a pig in slaughter house as I was so touched, but then - "Yesterday, I run and run in the playground and I was tired and I rest in the couch." OK. She did not do that the day before yesterday. Yesterday is her word for earlier or few days ago or once upon a time. But maybe she's right. Maybe I just need to rest. 

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Rest from what? From trying so hard to become a WAHM.

The Man in Combat Boots

I suddenly miss my husband. Not because it's rainy outside and the weather's perfect to snuggle, cuddle and more, I just miss him. I wanna see him tonight, stare at his face until he sleeps on me. Yes, even without making love; but if he's up for it, why not. Haha!

Seriously, after we talked on the phone tonight, I realized how much time we've lost because of the distance. When we were still living with MIL, she always used to insinuate why I'm always on my phone. She's a military wife, too but no cellphones yet during her time so I guess it's useless to explain. I know my fellow modern military wives will understand how we always expect for a text message or when we're lucky, a call from our solja boys.